I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
