Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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