tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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