after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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