Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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