pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
well most of my day revolves around power hour
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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