I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
