your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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