somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
