Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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