Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
