The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
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