with your own penis?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
