I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
