it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
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