Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
