It's like God shit irony all over that family
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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