he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I didn't notice because vodka
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I just want nice things and good sex
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
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