i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
