I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
