I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
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