I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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