Your face is a jimmy john
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
