insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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