Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
she told me i tasted like america
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
No...this little piggys going to the bar
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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