Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
