I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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