All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
