Me. At least after what I've been through.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
