My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize