We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
