do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
