So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
