Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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