I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
