You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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