3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
