it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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