I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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