yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
