My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
