remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
i think im in europe. pls send help
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
