So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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