Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
