Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Randomize
