I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize