matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i barfeds in our rink
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
