He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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