I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
