IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
