and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
