Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Randomize
