my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Randomize
