fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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