Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
