I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Randomize
