don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Randomize
